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There's nothing here!!

I want to go back upstate. I had enough of the shit that I going through right now. This is what I got for coming to the south: Peace and a lot of laid back, very friendly people. What I had upstate: A JOB, and an apartment that had pretty much everything, gas/stove, and I had a bed(Yeah I had a bed, now I have an air bed that I still have for the last 5 months). Why am I fucking still here for. I do blame myself for coming down here, but it's my MOMS fucking fault for this shit happening. She came up with the idea, I got pissed off with a solid rejection in my mind. You know what's so fucked up about it? It's the fact that she did it so she can rely on my Grandmother for support, that is some fucked up bullshit, and it's no wonder why I'm still around her. She been leaching off of me for the past 5 fucking years, no job and she complains about shit when she had a high paying job as if that's not enough. My familys' so fucked up and it's a shame that in order for me to get clear away from that I have to leave behind just about all the stuff I have in order to get to find out what my life leads to in this situation. I could of already had my college degree, but I have to pay what I owe from them in order to get back in and that's my mom's fault as well. I going to have to man up and take this responsibiliy to fix this shit so that I can go back to college and make sure it stays that way. I really want what I had back. There's nothing here for me right now and this shit has got to change. Please, you have to get your ass back up state. Whatever it takes, I want to get my life fixed and I want it fixed now.